Troubled Waters
by BlackOpal
Summary: AU: It's been years since the end of the war. Everyone seems to have moved on. But Jake's stuck back in the war, he's sinking so deep into a depression that he's dying to get out. There's only one person who can save him. Walk the Line Inspired, JC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Animorphs belong to KA Applegate but the story belongs to ME! BlackOpal. Bwhaha.

A/N: Yay, I'm back. After a long period of writer's block and the absence of any thrill I could get from writing fanfiction (I got a really good English teacher who inspired me to write essays and such. Appalling I know.), I have now written this. I just saw Walk the Line and driving home from seeing that, I thought of this. You'll probably see the similarities. But anyway, this is an AU in which Jake and Tobias and Marco didn't go off and fight The One. Flame it or flatter it. Reviews are much appreciated!

_Click. _

Light- that was all I saw, light and the constant click from the paparazzi that were blocking my path to the hotel. They were everywhere; dressed in white tee-shirts and holy blue jeans… clicking so fast- like their lives depended on it.

"Jake, how do you feel about the Andalites calling you an inspiration?"

"What do you think about Marco making a movie about your Animorph experience?"  
They wouldn't go away. The just kept clicking- kept shoving their damn cameras in my face and asking their questions like it was the most important thing in the world.

And then the worst question in the world…

"What would you like to say to Cassie and her fiancé?"

Fiancé. That's right, Cassie was getting married. She hadn't told me, she'd left that up to the reporter who had stuck his Nikon in my face about two hours ago.

Granted she had just announced it publicly three hours ago. Still, a little warning would have been nice before I had to face the world with a smile plastered on my face and the lie I had to keep repeating- "I couldn't be happier for her."

Bullshit.

Truth was, I hated her and I hated her new fiancé and the perfect life they were going to lead together.

I didn't get that chance.

I couldn't fade into the background like she had. No one stalked her as she turned every corner, ate at restaurants or even hanging outside her windows. No one cared what she did now. The whole world was watching me. They wanted to know about the leader of the famous Animorphs, the one who had saved his entire race from an alien invasion… no matter the cost.

Just get into the hotel. Once there, the bellhops would bar the paparazzi from entering and I would be free to go upstairs and forget this whole day happened.

_Click_.

Smile Jake, just smile for the camera.

The same goddamn smile I had smiled every day since the invasion ended.

I hated that smile.

Then suddenly, I was in. Bright lights, plush couches and lavish statues greeted me as I stepped into the lobby of the Ritz Carlton. The paparazzi didn't follow- they were stuck outside in the cold, left to wait until tomorrow when I would come out and do the whole routine again.

I was on the thirty-second floor. I hadn't gotten the penthouse, just a simple double room with the same double bed as any normal hotel room.

When I was younger, before the war, I always wanted to be something special. Now I just wanted to be normal.

I sat down on the bed and pulled off my shoes and pulled of my socks. There was a mirror across from the bed. I don't even look the same. I was twenty years old but I had the face of a thirty year old. Even my feet looked older, bare and wrinkled.

I curled on the bed into a ball, lying on top of the flowered stereotypical hotel comforter. It was cold in my hotel room, but I liked it cold. It helped to numb the pain, because no matter how I looked at it- I was curled up on this double bed alone. There was no one beside me and there probably never would be.

For years there had always been five other people lying next to me. Figuratively of course but they had always been there.

"_You've changed Jake… the war's over everywhere else but you're still living it over and over again in your head."_

It's too cold now and it starts to bite at my bare feet. I pulled the comforter around me. I was wrapped inside it and staring at the roses and tulips and some purple flower that looked disgusting.

"_Look at you Jake… can you ever get over what happened and move on?"_

But I love you Cassie.

"_You need help Jake."_

It was freezing. I couldn't feel my feet anymore. I got off the bed to get the circulation moving but it did no good. I went to the balcony and stepped out of the hotel room.

Warm air was what I needed. The hotel room felt too cramped. Open air was always a good thing.

"_Look Jake, I've moved on. I can't keep waiting for you to go back to the Jake I knew. I found someone else."_

God damnit, it must be thirty-below out here. Was this or wasn't this California.

I went inside.

I needed my pills; they always helped with this kind of cold.

Under my suitcase, under my socks and in my travel case… prescription- "Take one as needed". I took six. They were very much needed and they went great with a midnight raid at the mini bar.

Three hours and sixty dollars later, I felt a little warmer. The alcohol had given me a nice buzz.

_Bring._

Another annoying sound. It reminded me of the paparazzi outside.

_Bring_.

Shutupshutupshutup.

_Bring_.

What the hell was that noise?

_Bring._

Oh… it's the phone. I laughed to myself, of course it was the phone. People like to call you Jake. They think you're **awesome**.

_Bring._

For the love of God-

"Hello?"

"Dude." Marco practically screamed in my ear.

"Marco, quiet. You almost burst my ear drum."

"I heard about Cassie dude, I was worried about you. How are you taking it?"

"Great… just…. Why would I take it anyway… that's a dumb thing to take… You know the thing about Cassie, Marco- she only cares about herself. What's that word when you only care… when you only care… about yourself? SELFISH! Ha! That's what she is she's shellfish."

"Oh Jake." I heard his sigh across the telephone wire. "Are you drunk?"

"Me? Nawh." I waved my hand like it was nothing. Whoa. That was cool. I did it again. Too cool. "Cassie's selfish though."

"Ok, I'm coming over Jake. What room are you?"

"1399… I think." That hand waving thing was cool.

"Ritz right."

"Yea, and dude hurry- you should see this cool hand thing I can do."

"I'll be right over."

I dropped the phone on the bed and rolled over. My pills flew into my hand. What the hell? They've helped so far. I down three more with a beer and damn did it taste good.

Man, I was tired… my eyes could barely hold themselves open. But I couldn't sleep; Marco would be right over…

Ok, maybe just a quick nap, I thought to myself and I closed my eyes.

_Knock knock._

That's the door, my brain told me.

_Knock knock._

Marco, my brain said.

Too tired, my eyes said back.

_Knock knock._

"Come back later," I muttered to myself.

And then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys! Another chapter! Yay. That was relatively quick for me! Aren't you all proud?

-**Marco-**

I had already knocked so many times my knuckles were almost raw. I checked three times to make sure it was actually room 1399. It was. So I knocked again- then screamed.

"Jake! Jake!" This was not good. It was possible, of course, that he had told me the wrong room number. He was drunk on the phone, after all. But still, just to be sure. "Jake, open up the damn door. This isn't funny!" People from room 1398 came running out like I had just yelled "Fire!" They froze and whispered. They weren't that dumb, they figured it out fairly quick.

All right, time to be sensible. Let's make our way down to the front desk, Markey boy, all Ryan-like during the Ryan-He's-Got-A-Gun episode of The O.C. in season one. Except behind this hotel room, there's not a gorgeous Mischa Barton waiting for you to be saved. Nope, instead there's just one Jake Berenson who was in deep shit.

Marco, come on down- you're the next contestant on Save Your Best Friend's Ass!

I'd been a contestant a lot lately. It wasn't really Jake's fault, he went to a lot of psychiatrists and doctors and he even tried a hypnotist. He sank into this killer depression. No one could pull him out of it, not Tobias or me or even Cassie. He still blamed himself for Rachel's death. He still thought it was his fault. They all tried to help him but what do you say to the leader of the Earth Liberation Army. There's never been anyone with Jake's problem before; no one knew what to do. Your typical soldier back home from war had seen only half as many things as our Jake did.

"Hello, I'm Natalie. How can I help you?" The lady behind the front desk asked. Natalie- the world was playing some cruel trick on me.

"Hi Natalie, my name is Marco. My friend Jake called me about a half hour ago and I would really like it if you could help me out." I flashed a killer smile and flexed a little. I still had a way with the ladies.

"I'm sorry Marco, but I'm not allowed to let anyone into that hotel room. It's a privacy issue."

Here's where I love being a celebrity- "Natalie, my name is Marco and my friend Jake, Jake _Berenson_, called me about a half hour ago. Now I can't get into his room and it's really important that I get in. Can you help me?"

It dawned on her eventually. Everyone knew who we were, everyone in the world. We were the invincible Animorphs. Invincible with our ex-leader incapacitated in his hotel room.

Life sure had changed.

She handed me the key once we made it upstairs. I wouldn't let her go inside. "It's an Animorph thing." I told her and she smiled like she was in on some big secret. Technically, she would be if she stepped through that room- which is why I made her give me the key.

The room was dark and it reeked like alcohol and puke. It was disgusting and I almost didn't want to step inside. He was going to pay for this. We were supposed to be adults now. We were eighteen. Why couldn't he act like it?

But I knew. I knew that Jake was trying to move on but he wasn't sure how.

He was lying on the bed and I was fairly sure he was passed out. An open pill bottle was lying on his pillow and the random bottles of alcohol were strewn about the room. It was not a good situation.

I stood there for a few minutes. I remembered Jake as he used to be- the leader who took decisions to heart and wanted every so often to be normal. Or the Jake that knew running away from his problems only made them worse.

I missed that Jake. The Jake that was lying on the bed didn't look like the leader of the Earth Liberation Army. Truthfully, he looked pretty pitiful. He looked like a failure.

"Jake, you gotta get up." I said and grabbed his arms. I had to get him to the shower. Actually, I really had to get him to a hospital but thinking in the long-term and the press that would come with the long-term wouldn't be the best thing for Jake.

Pulling him, I noticed he had gained weight. It was a good thing, ever since the war he'd lost way too much weight. Now was just not a good time to have ten extra pounds to pull off the bed.

He chose that moment to wake up. Me, with my legs straining in the business suit I wore, clutching onto his arm for dear life and pulling to drag him from the spot he'd carved out for himself.

"What the hell are you doing?" He grumbled. I could smell his breath from here.

He wrenched his arm from my grip. The sudden shift caused me to fall back onto the floor. I bumped my head on the way down. That made me bitter.

"I was _trying_ to get you to grow up."

He sat up and from my position on the carpet I could see his disorientation.

"Go away Marco."

There was something about the way he sat. It was desperate and nonchalant and determined to convince me of the truth. Instead, I saw deeper. And his hurt was a lot deeper than I could ever imagine- or handle.

"I'm calling her," I said.

He made no move to stop me.


End file.
